It's not just for students anymore....

Follow me while I follow my husband to the Midwest and try to navigate the "Partner" world at one of US News and World Report's Top 5 MBA Programs in the country.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My husband is Male

I left my job on Friday and we were in the U-Haul Saturday morning. I looked in the (huge!) rear view mirror at my (tiny!) apartment fading into the distance and felt a little sad that we were leaving. This was a major adventure and change for us, and I WAS excited, but leaving everything you know is always going to be scary and a bit sad. I reminded myself that this was going to be great and got ready for the bumpy ride ahead.

We had been planning (at least hoping for) this move for about a year, so I had had time to think about it and get used to the idea of leaving. Around the time of our wedding in October of 2008, my husband finished up his applications to three of the best business schools around: one in Boston, one not too far away, and one in the Midwest. While I was stressing about centerpieces and hair styles, he was trying to make his consultant/private equity background sound as interesting and as noble as “saving villages in Africa” and “being a woman.” I edited and suggested…glossing over the fact that all the work I had done for a start-up charity organization was suddenly the work of my ever benevolent husband and that his “difficulties” at work consisted of figuring out what to do when a girl he worked with started crying. We would do or say or “spin” whatever we had to in order to GET IN. That was always the goal: GET IN. Once that happened, we knew we were scot free.

My husband -- not that I’m biased -- is a genius. He was Phi Beta Kappa at an Ivy League, scored an 800 on his Math SATs (and a 750 on the Verbal, by the way), read Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and, basically, understood it. He’d worked at a major consulting firm for three years right out of college and then had moved to a smaller private equity firm for two more. He speaks French, understands Art, reads “The Economist” every week (for fun!), is an amazing skier and tennis player, and loves to travel. I mention all of this because in my mind, how could he NOT get in? Well, let me tell you the other side of my husband's story: he’s white, from the northeast, worked in consulting and private equity, and….is a boy. Yes, my husband is male. This, along with the other aforementioned facts, meant that NOT getting in was a major possibility.

We crossed our fingers and went on our honeymoon.


  1. Pls post again soon! Your story hits too close to home...

  2. I'm sure your husband is very smart. But so is everyone else who is applying. If he doesn't get in, it's not because he's a male. Or b/c he's white. It's because there are a lot of other people who are super-qualified too.

    Also, why shouldn't a woman with the same qualifications as your husband be chosen over him? Women have to deal with really unfair situations at work, i.e. bosses and clients having meetings at strip clubs, meetings at male-only golf clubs, etc. Does he know what it feels like to be a complete outsider at work? Has he had to overcome anything?

    Life doesn't treat everyone the same. Women, minorities, the disabled do have it harder in business (and LIFE). B-schools are simply acknowledging that fact.

    And before you get all pissy about it. I'll say this, I am an Indian Engineer. I'm in the MOST competitve pool there is. If I could choose to be the random white guy from middle America, I would. So stop complaining and be grateful for what you have going for you.

  3. I speak 3 languages (one of which is French too!), understand art (I can tell Monet from Manet!!), read the Economist, am an equestrian and a dancer and love to travel.

    Guess what? I didn't get into my top choices either (and I'm a woman!). Your husband isn't all that special. He sounds like pretty much every other b-school applicant there is.

    If he had 8 Olympic medals that might be something. But "loves to travel and reads the Economist" doesn't cut it.

  4. Haha - oh, I'm not complaining really. He got in, we're here, and we're surrounded by best and brightest the business (and other worlds) have to offer.

    I do, however, think it is much harder to get into business school as a man. I understand that it's hard for EVERYONE, but men outnumber women applicants by a lot. It's just tougher.

    Anyway, of course, I AM biased ;). He is my husband - what can I say?

  5. PS - I haven't let Cam read this blog...he'd be embarrassed and feel the same way you do, I'm sure. There are TONS of applicants like him, I know - that's why these "little" things make such a BIG difference!

  6. Elizabeth, your posts totally hit home- my husband has applied to business school and we're waiting. It felt like reading what/how I think, especially the post where you mentioned feeling like an anxious parent. G

    Good luck to you guys!