For Better or For Business School

I'm Baaaack!

2010-05-25T12:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it’s been awhile, I know. I could make excuses (I had bronchitis for over a month, this past weekend was the first weekend I was in Chicago in 4 weeks, I have been busy planning my summer, I haven’t felt like blogging….), but let’s just pretend this hiatus never happened and start over ;).

So what’s been going on in the life of business school partners at Booth? Well, we’ve all been preparing for the summer. Most students have their internships lined up (big hugs for those who don’t), and this means big (albeit temporary) changes for most of us. As I might have (grudgingly) mentioned, I have a job here in Chicago and just can’t pick up and take 10 weeks off in the middle of the summer. What does that mean? It means Cam will be living the bachelor life in NYC, Henry is off to puppy summer camp with Cam’s mom in Connecticut, and I’ll be a swinging (okay, couch lounging quasi-wino) single in hot Chicago.

The prospect of spending the summer alone here elicits varied feelings from those of us being left. Some are panicking, some are (secretly) relieved, some are sad, and some, like me, feel a mixture of all the above. Cam and I have probably done the whole long-distance thing a lot more than most people our age. Cam was a camp counselor in Maine during our first summer together, we went to different colleges and studied abroad in different countries, Cam’s first year as a management consultant had him traveling to the exciting destination of York, Pennsylvania four days a week for the whole year, and when we lived in Australia, we moved to Sydney only to have Cam’s job be moved to Melbourne for most of the six months we were there. Does this mean I like living in a different city from my husband? Absolutely not. Going to bed alone, having no one to say goodbye to in the morning, eating dinner by myself….not fun. However, I’m choosing, for now (ask me again in a few weeks when Cam is packing and I’m getting Henry ready for a summer away from home), to focus on the positives: I won’t have to cook dinner every night; I’ll be able to go out in the city without having to rush home to Henry; the apartment might actually stay clean for longer than 5 hours; I’ll be able to sleep until my alarm without Henry waking me up; I’ll be able to exercise again with all of my extra time. Those are good things, right? Not to mention all the wine I’ll be drinking with my other abandoned friends during the week ;).

I also have plans almost EVERY weekend to either see Cam and Henry or have visitors here, so the 10 weeks is going to fly by. And at the end? Our trip to Europe! The light at the end of the long separated summer tunnel.

I will say that one thing I’ve learned through all of our forced separations is that it’s a shame to wish your summer or your week or your life away. I wait ALL winter for summer to come, and even though this situation is far from ideal, these are 10 weeks I’m not getting back! I’m sure there will be days when I’ll want to scream “End, you damn summer, end!” But…. I’m going to try not to do that. It’s summer! I say, go outside, have a margarita, meet some friends, and toast the husbands who are far away trying to better themselves for the good of our futures.

“Live like a CEO when you’re a student…..” Part II

2010-04-14T15:55:00.001-05:00

When you were little, did you ever ask your parents, “How much money do you make?” only to have them tell you that isn’t a polite question? And thus began our awkward relationship with money. We try to make it, save it, spend it, and donate it, but we rarely are allowed to talk about it in any specific terms. This is especially odd in the business school environment. They are all taking lots of finance classes and most of the students are here to learn how to make more money than they made before (or at least get the fancy degree to aid in this “get more money” scheme). How much did they make before? Who the heck knows! We’re not allowed to talk about it!

This is the main reason why not having loans is awkward for me and Cam. For some reason, while it is definitely a faux pas to discuss money, it is completely okay to talk about borrowed money. People might not discuss their loan amounts, but they freely discuss what a struggle it’s going to be to pay back their loans or ask questions of a large group about the ins and outs of the loan process. It’s assumed that everyone has loans; I think it’s actually a way that most of the new students and partners bond when they first arrive here: “Man, the economy better pick up so that we can pay these crazy loans back!” or “We’re just poor students living on loans!”

But, what about the few of us who aren’t part of that group? If someone asks me if the loans just come into our bank account every month, what should I say? I don’t know? Honestly, I don’t know, so that wouldn’t be a lie…or do I just come out and say that we don’t have loans, so I’m not the best person to ask? The problem is, once word is out that we have no loans, we become the dreaded “other.” We aren’t like everyone else; we don’t have to worry about money. The “Oooh, you don’t have loans? You’re so lucky….” comments start, and the guessing begins. Our families are probably loaded! I secretly won the lottery 2 years ago! We’re actually 45 years old and have been saving for 20 years!

The boring truth? Cam saved a LOT while he worked, we didn’t have a car in Boston, and we lived below our means for 5 years. Cam also received a bit of inheritance when his grandmother died, and that went straight to the business school fund. Booooring. And what this really means is that we have to watch our money and spending at least as much as everyone else does. Besides what I make at my job, we don’t have money coming in every quarter; when our savings runs out, it’s gone.

Am I whining? Poor us!! We’re the misfits who don’t have to pay back thousands of dollars after school is over! Boo-hoo!!! No, seriously, we are very grateful that we won’t be in debt after this, and I know how fortunate we are. None of it would bother me if I felt like we were allowed to say it and not sound like we’re bragging. We get it – most people were not able to save as much as we were, and without loans, they wouldn’t be here. We were lucky and were able to save, but I’m still not sure if I am ready to admit that to the general Booth population. Maybe next time someone asks me about loans, I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear. “Phones? Yeah, we still have lame phones – no IPhones for us!!”:)

It's a Dog's Life?

2010-03-31T19:37:00.006-05:00

Lately, I’ve been thinking my husband is really living the good life! People are always saying dogs have the best lives, so I thought I would do a little comparison of Cam’s life vs. Henry’s life:

Guests: If someone knocks on the door, Henry has to run over and bark and protect us against stranger danger. Cam usually stays in his office and waits for me to answer it.

Recycling: Henry keeps a very close eye on the recycling. If anything new goes in the bin, he must run right over to “sort” it (the picture above is Henry diligently sorting our recycling). Cam waits until the recycling is overflowing and I “remind” him to take it out before he has anything to do with it.

Bathing: When it’s time for Henry to have a bath, we sneak up on him, run into the bathroom, lock the door, and put him directly under the showerhead. He has no idea what’s happening to him until it’s too late! We then turn him into a drowned rat before turning the dreaded hair dryer on him. Cam takes a shower every day of his own accord – and if he doesn’t, I certainly don’t toss him in the tub with no warning.

Dishes: If I open the dishwasher to put in a dirty dish, Henry has to run RIGHT over to inspect that dish and help clean it off. Cam rarely opens the dishwasher.

Protection: When we take Henry outside or for a walk, he has to be constantly on guard making sure that no ne’er-do-wells sneak up on us and try to attack. He has to bark and lunge at them, trying his mightiest to protect us. When Cam goes outside, he is usually friendly towards these strangers and even tries to keep Henry from doing his duty – making Henry’s job even harder!

Food: We feed Henry 1/3 cup of food twice a day. He has to watch as we eat turkey, steak and chicken and hope that maybe we’ll give him some leftovers. Cam eats whatever he wants. I bake him brownies every week, and I certainly don’t moderate the amount he consumes…

Bathroom: If Henry needs to use the bathroom, he has to hope that we are going to take him out at the appropriate time. He can whine and pace near the door, but if we don’t see him, he’s out of luck! I won’t go into Cam’s bathroom time, but it’s certainly not limited.

Sleeping: Poor Henry tries to sleep all the time, but he looks so cute that we often just scoop him off the ground and wake him up. We can’t help it! He’s too cute! Now that Henry is older and sleeping through the night, Cam usually can sleep as long as he wants on the weekends. If Henry wants to get up, I, for some reason, am the one to get out of bed to be with him.

Work: Henry takes his stick chewing work very seriously. He collects many sticks from outside and brings them in to chew until they are mere toothpicks. Nothing can stop or distract him! Cam’s focus is certainly not as fixed. He will read his course packs but often stop to check out ESPN or Bogleheads.com. He will go to class, but that is only 3-4 times a week.

Clearly, the life of a puppy is much more trying than the life of a student. “It’s a dog’s life?” Come on! Try, “It’s a B-school student’s life!”

"Live like a CEO when you're a student...."

2010-03-29T11:04:00.001-05:00

On the bus this morning, I was trying to plan how we were going to pay off our current credit card bill. We went to New Orleans for an abbreviated Spring Break (I’ve gotta work, people!), Cam’s tuition bill needs to be paid, he just bought a lot of his books (FOUR classes this term equals a LOT of money towards books and course packs), I just authorized payment on a trip to Europe for the end of the summer, and maybe I bought a few things online this month. Maybe. At any rate, this credit card bill is definitely on the high side for us.

Sounds like we’re really livin’ the life, huh? Vacations and online shopping (with dinners out and plane tickets home thrown in) and we’re just two people on one (not huge) salary living the way we did when we had two salaries, right? Not quite. For one thing, Chicago is a lot cheaper than Boston, and we moved to one of the cheapest viable neighborhoods in the city to save money. No luxury high rises for us! We park on the street, which is free (aside from the occasional ticket…). We cook roughly 18 out of 21 meals a week. We outlet or sale shop almost exclusively, and I’ve become mildly obsessed with coupons (those CVS coupons are so great! And I love coupons.com!). If we go out to eat, I try to use Groupons or Chicago Half Off instead of paying full price. Perhaps I’ve even become cheap….

Yes, we still go on vacation, and I’m certainly not one to say no to the occasional glass of wine and dinner out. But we look around and wonder how some of our fellow students are living the way it appears they are living. Fancy apartment buildings, multiple (often fancy) cars, dinner out 5 nights a week, 12 day treks to Europe and the Caribbean, expensive parties and Booth events, weekend trips to NYC….and a lot of these students don’t have a working partner like Cam does! What the heck? Something like 95% of people who come here take out loans…so what am I missing? People can oft be heard repeating this quote that all admissions officers like to remind the students: “Live like a CEO when you’re a student, and you’ll be living like a student when you’re a CEO.” You definitely hear people saying this….but you rarely see people taking it to heart.

You’re probably saying to yourself, “Wait, didn’t she say a few paragraphs ago that she just returned from a trip to New Orleans and is planning a European trip for the summer? Sounds like she’s doing the same thing as all of these high rollers she’s confused about!” Okay, full disclosure (and Cam will not be happy that I’m revealing this): we don’t have loans. We had saved up for Cam to attend school for 2 years, and we figured that if I got a job, we’d be tight but okay while he went to school. And then, he was awarded a substantial fellowship (we're very fortunate!), so it turns out we had saved about twice as much as we needed. Later this week, I’ll write about why this has been pretty awkward at times during our first two terms in Chicago.

So what am I criticizing people for? Look, we’re still trying not to spend beyond our means. We want to buy a house when Cam graduates, and every dollar we can save now means that I’ll get a nicer house later :). I also kind of worry about some of these people; even with fabulous jobs, paying off these huge loans won’t be easy! Why spend more than you absolutely need? I understand that “this is the time” to travel and have fun, but there is a way to do it responsibly. I guess I just want us all to be livin’ like CEO’s post-graduation. Or at least like above average middle managers ;).

Grade Non-Disclosure. Non. NON!!!

2010-03-18T11:32:00.002-05:00

It’s finals week here at Booth, and that means a lot of extra stress at my house.

Me: “Whatchya doing?”

Cam: “Taking practice tests.”

Me: “TestS?”

Cam: “Yes, testSSSS”

Me: “Are you timing yourself?”
Cam: “No, I usually finish way before the time limit.”
(I raise one eyebrow.)
Me: “So doesn’t that mean you can probably stop taking them?”

Cam: “No!”
Me: “Well, are you getting most of the answers right?”

Cam: “Maybe….”

And therein lies the problem I have with all of this added stress. He studies until he is an expert at Financial Statements or Business Networks, and no one is even going to see his hard-earned grades! Booth employs grade non-disclosure, which means potential employers can’t ask for your transcripts or see your grades. The purpose of this policy is to foster a collaborative and less cut-throat educational environment, but it can also be seen as a “we just have to pass!” kind of rule. For some people. NOT for Cam.

Grade non-disclosure has had zero effect on his study habits. He still strives for A’s and to be well ahead of (i.e. throwing off) the curve. While fellow students were at the bar by 7am Saturday morning to celebrate St. Patty’s Day early, Cam didn’t drink Friday night so that he would be ready to put in his 5 hour weekend study day. Whhhyyyyy???

I understand wanting to be on the Dean’s List, as that can go on your resume for all to see. However, you don’t need a 4.0 to be on the Dean’s List! Why can’t he lighten up?

Because. Just because! That’s the way he is. That’s how he got here in the first place – by always trying to be the best, even if no one was watching. So, as much as it often pains and annoys me, I let him stress and go crazy with his practice tests and all day trips to the library. I let him read parts of the book no one ever assigned, do more than his fair share of the group work and construct “cheat” sheets with so much information crammed onto the page you would need a magnifying glass to read any of it. At least we’re getting our money’s worth, right? And while future employers might not get to see his straight A transcript, we’ll both know what’s on there. And we can always brag to our mothers :).

Something has been "weighing" on me....

2010-03-16T11:58:00.001-05:00

Okay, you’ll have to forgive the pun, as I didn’t want to name this post “Business School is making me fat.” However, that is probably a more accurate title.

Back in Boston, I went to the gym three times a week and often walked the mile and a half home after. I didn’t like it, but the gym was across the street from my office, so I had to walk by every day and think “Boy, I should really go to the gym!” I ended up just feeling guilty if I didn’t go, so I went. Cam never had time to go to the gym because of his work and commuting schedule. When it was nice out, he would run on the weekends (5 miles!! He never worked out but could just run 5 miles! How annoying is that?), but he never really watched what he ate or exercised on a regular basis. Of course, his weight hardly fluctuated and he always fit in all of his clothes.

Oh, how things change. I joined the University gym in the middle of September (spouses get a fabulous rate - $110 for the year). The gym is literally across the street from our apartment; it’s probably a 3 minute walk. How many times have I been to this fabulous gym? Zero. How many times have I worked out since July? Zero. How much less do I eat? No less. In fact, I’m eating jelly beans right now.

What the f#*@ happened? Well, my commute means that if I come straight home, I still get home 45 minutes later than I used to. I also feel as though I need to get home because Cam and Henry are usually there, and I feel that they are waiting for me. Lastly, my social life during the weekdays has significantly picked up and getting a real gym schedule set just seems impossible.

Yes, these are all excuses. I could work out during lunch (there is a great gym in our building that is inexpensive); Cam and Henry would gladly (?) wait an extra hour to see me at night; I certainly go home from work about three times a week with no social engagements. Business school has just made me lazy!!!

Cam, on the other hand, is able to work out when he wants (which isn’t that often), and I make him a pan of brownies to eat every week. A PAN. EVERY WEEK. And what has this done to his weight? He’s lost 10 pounds since we moved here.

I give up. I hope that I’ll get this together when Cam and Henry are gone this summer. For now, I’ll just keep blaming business school for making my pants too tight.

Planes, Trains and Rental Cars

2010-03-09T14:35:00.001-06:00

Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while; life kind of got in the way of blogging this past week and a half. I was really busy getting ready for Admit Weekend (thank goodness that’s over!) and then we unexpectedly had to travel back East, as Cam’s grandmother passed away (one of my least favorite euphemisms. I hate euphemisms in general, but “passed away?” What does that even mean? I just want to say straight out, “she died,” but you have to worry about offending other people! It’s my relative, okay? Anyway….). Back when we lived in Boston, we would have just rented a car and driven down to Connecticut. Now, we have to book last minute flights (while trying not to disrupt Cam’s class schedule), find Henry a puppy sitter, rent a car (LOVE Priceline!), and somehow get to O’Hare from Hyde Park without either missing our flight or spending $200. Ah, the joys of living far away from “home.”

For me and Cam, this has been one of the biggest adjustments in coming to Chicago for business school. My parents and brother and his sister all live in Massachusetts, Cam’s mom and my best friend live in Connecticut, and my sister lives in NYC – all back on the East Coast. I’m used to going home for Thanksgiving, spending the weekend with my sister in New York, driving to Maine with my brother to see my grandparents, and going to Cam’s mom’s for a visit with her and my best friend. I’m not accustomed to planning these activities months in advance around Cam’s ever-changing school schedule and my limited vacation time. We lived in Sydney for six months in 2006, but we had a very different mindset then: we were there and we were staying there for six months. And then we were coming back. Two years is a very different story.

So, how do you stay in touch with friends and family without spending your meager life savings and half your life traveling? It depends who you’re dealing with. I talk to my mom on the phone, email with my dad, Facebook (a lot!) with my best friend, gchat with my sister, and sometimes we even video chat. Anne (my sister) got a new guinea pig, Sprinkles, and I’ve never met her. So, we make sure that cousins Henry and Sprinkles get to know each other remotely ;). These are the (ridiculous) ways that we make sure our families stay connected while living far apart. Hey, whatever works, right?

February Fretting

2010-02-25T14:42:00.004-06:00

I don’t know if it’s the fact that it won’t stop snowing (I thought Chicago was supposed to be less snowy than Boston??) or that the Olympics have kept us up past our bedtime for too many nights in a row, but Cam and I seem to be feeling a tad overwhelmed lately. Partner’s Group, classes, Admit Weekend, Walter, internship choices, vacation planning (I know – boo hoo us), summer housing…everything seems to need our attention now, and everyone seems to need something from us.

Cam went to New York City last week for JP Morgan’s “sell day,” even though because it had been postponed due to inclement weather, he’d already had to accept the offer the week before. So this was a “man, I hope you don’t hate this!” kind of trip. Thankfully, he didn’t hate it :). In fact, there were only a few people there whom he wanted to ask “what their deal was,” which is pretty good for Cam. While the trip was good, it was a whirlwind of flying, eating, drinking, networking, listening to panels, and trying to remember everyone’s names and positions. He came back tired and with a cold (that he so nicely shared with me). He also came back with more “to dos” related to this summer: try and secure a Boston office rotation, find a NYC summer sublet (preferably for not much over the $1,500 housing allowance?!), figure out how we’re going to get Walter to and from Connecticut, and plan some business school-worthy vacation for post-internship August. [Side note: I was looking over Cam’s shoulder while he was on the computer last night, and he had craigslist up and was looking at NYC sublets. The one he was looking at was for 6 months starting in June. Me: “So, a little change of plans, dear?” He closed it ;).]

So, all of this future stuff is taking up a lot of our brain space, but we need all that space for what’s going on in the present! Poor Walter was neutered last week, which took up a lot of time and emotional energy (I know, I know, all dogs get neutered – but MY dog doesn’t always get neutered! It was very sad to see him hurting and pathetic!), Cam’s class load seems to be a lot more strenuous this term, and I seem to have become a bit more entrenched in Partner’s Group than I bargained for…

I won our little election to be the leader of the group, and I’ve since been getting 50 emails a day reminding me of that fact. I’m copied on everything, and everyone seems to need my opinion before they can make even the tiniest of decisions. Hm. What have I gotten myself into? I am also helping out with the Partner’s Program for next weekend’s Admit Weekend. Basically, this entails getting bossed around by the Admissions Office via my friend and her husband (both of whom I love dearly!). Last year’s program (which I did not attend) was awful according to everyone here, but Admissions is very “concerned” about all of our changes and wants to make sure we are closely monitoring the answers of our panelists. What’s the point of having a panel if they can’t say what they want? Tonight’s meeting should be interesting.

On another note, my friend is hosting a “Back to Undergrad” party this weekend, complete with Keystone Light, jello shots, pizza and plenty of Nelly and Outkast. Let’s hope we can make it until then.

“Honey, I’m (Still!) Home!”

2010-02-18T12:22:00.001-06:00

So, it’s actually a weird day for me to write this post, as Cam is out of town and not at home, but in order for me to move forward with future posts, this one needs to happen!

Before we came to Chicago for business school, everyone was constantly telling me how busy Cam was going to be. Parties, classes, homework, internships – I was never going to see him. I didn’t attend Booth’s Admit Weekend with Cam (I’d been to Chicago, and I just didn’t feel like it), but friends here who went say they heard the same thing over and over: Say goodbye to your husband/partner. One girl I know even said she left one of the panels in tears because she was convinced she and her husband weren’t going to see each other for 2 years!

Did these people work before they followed (I use the term loosely) their students here? Did the students work? Or were they just sitting next to each other all day every day holding hands and snuggling? If that were the case, then yes, I’d say the amount of time you see each other when one of you is a business school student would be unacceptable.

Let’s compare schedules.

Pre-business school (and I’m going to use Cam’s last job in PE – if I did this based on his consulting schedule, it would be way less “together” time):

Monday-Friday

7:00am: I get up

7:30am: Cam gets up (except on Mondays when he got up at 6am)

8:00am: I leave for work

8:10am: Cam leaves for work

5:00pm: I leave work

5:15pm: I go to the gym

6:00pm: I watch some show I’ve DVR’d

6:45pm: I start making dinner

7:45pm: I finish making dinner

8-8:30pm: Cam comes home

11:00pm: We go to bed

Together time = 3.5-4 hours

Business School (keeping in mind that we live in Hyde Park right near the school)

Monday-Friday

6:00am: Cam gets up to let puppy out and then goes back to bed

6:55am: I get up

7:55am: I leave for work

8:15am: Cam gets up

12:00pm: Cam eats lunch

1:00pm: Cam goes to class (three times a week)

4:30pm: Cam comes home

4:30pm: Cam goes to study group (on days when he doesn’t have class)

5:00pm: I leave work

5:30pm: Cam gets back from study group if he had one

6:00pm: I get home

6:30pm: We make dinner

7:30pm: We eat dinner

8:00pm: Maybe Cam reads while we watch American Idol

11:00pm: We go to bed

Together time = 5-5.5 hours/average

Obviously, there are times when this is different. There are weeks when he’s gone a few nights a week at “recruiting” events or Lunch and Learns or a club meeting. There are times when I’m gone trying to plan Partner’s Group events or at book club. But on the whole, we see each other 10-13 hours MORE a week than we did before! And you’ll notice, of course, the things left out of my schedule: gym and tv. I will talk much more about that later.

So, partners everywhere: don’t flip out! Married/committed students say no to the occasional night out or party, but neither of you are going to miss out on much. He/she will get the full student experience, and your relationship isn’t going to fall apart. Just make sure you really like each other because there is no escaping your better half once business school begins.

Do you like me??

2010-02-10T15:23:00.001-06:00

I haven’t run for a “position” in a group since I was in High School. I ran for Secretary, unopposed, my senior year, and I’m still living with that choice now (I swear, they don’t TELL you that the senior year officers are lifelong roles – I am now planning our 10 year reunion). I don’t like running for things. Elections are popularity contests, and I like to be liked!

The Partner’s Group here is transitioning its leadership roles from 2^nd year partners to 1^st year partners, and I find myself in the middle of it all. I was more than willing to co-chair a club or two, but a few people from last year’s club suggested that the group really needs a “leader.” Here at Booth, no club is structured the way a club is normally structured. There is no President, Vice President, etc – I guess that is far too hierarchical for them (everyone in business school is a leader, in case you were unaware). They simply have co-chairs – not even just plain old chairs! So, there are two people “in charge” of every group. Well, the Partner’s Group is different in that it is split up into 8-10 clubs within the group, and each of these clubs has two co-chairs. That means there are 16 people in charge of the entire group. How do you run a meeting or delegate tasks efficiently with 16 people in charge? Well, based on the way these transition meetings have gone, you can’t. A leader it is.

Our transition meeting was Monday, we indicated our “interest” in becoming the leader yesterday, and the group is voting on the leader today. The whole thing is silly, I know. It’s the leader of the Partner’s Group, not the free world or anything. However, contests of any kind make me nervous. I get nervous playing Cranium with a group of friends or even playing Guitar Hero with my husband! I’m just not cut out to be a competitor.

Incidentally, I told Cam that I might end up being the Partner’s Group leader, and he said, “What? No! Why are you always leading things! I’m the business school student; I should be leading things!” I quickly assured him that we could find yet another place on his resume for my new leadership roles ;).

Of course, one might ask why I said I was interested in becoming the leader if I really don’t think it’s a big deal and I hate competition….well, as a fellow partner here pointed out, while all of us should be Type B personalities to complement our student’s Type A’s, it turns out opposites don’t necessarily attract in this case. We’re all Type A’s, and many of us, including me, have the need to lead.

Wish me luck

A New York State of Mind?

2010-02-05T15:10:00.002-06:00

So, I thought I should do an update on Cam’s summer internship search. Things have become a little more complicated than they were a couple weeks ago, but we’re still not going to complain! Cam is heading to NYC next week for a kind of “Admitted Internship” evening (he said, “they’re paying for me to fly there for a party!”), and if all goes well, he will probably just accept JP Morgan’s offer. BNY has indicated that they want a second interview in Boston, but they can’t give him a final decision until after February 16….which is when JP’s offer “explodes” (I had never heard this “exploding offer” term until the last few weeks…why don’t they just say “expire” or, god forbid, “we have to tell them by February 16 if we’re going to accept”?).

Anyway, this whole BNY situation made everything slightly more complicated. Should he wait until after the NYC trip to tell BNY he is going to back out of the process? Should he just tell them now in case they want to extend a 2nd interview to someone else (he is one of three candidates at the moment)? If he was offered the BNY position, does he think he would take that or the JP Morgan job? This seems to be the most important question to me, and it’s the question he has the toughest time answering. All he can say is that there is a good chance he would accept the JP position even if he got the BNY job. In that case, it’s tough to give up a sure thing for a 33% chance of getting another position. Oy.

In either case, it looks like I am spending 10 weeks of the summer in Chicago alone! Cam will be in NYC and Boston, and, though I wish I could, I can’t just quit my job right now and follow him ;). And because Cam is the primary puppy caregiver, Henry will head to puppy summer camp at Cam’s Mom’s house in Connecticut. It will be weird being single and childless for 10 weeks, but I’m committed to having a good time! We’ll see each other most weekends and rendezvous in Connecticut to visit the pup. More on this Chicago alone time later; it’s a big topic of conversation amongst the working partners….

Also, our Partner Group takeover has pretty successful! Things are looking up there, and we are getting ready for Admit Weekend!

Busy, busy….with all this business school stuff going on, it’s a wonder I have any time for my actual job….;).

Oh, right – I AM a Mommy!!

2010-02-02T10:21:00.001-06:00

A few posts ago, I mentioned that the Partner’s Group seemed a bit like Mommy’s Group….and I was not a Mommy. But how could I forget Henry?! Cam and I are definitely parents – to a 7 month old cockapoo :).

Last year when we were discussing business school and moving, we attended an “Accepted Booth Student” event in Boston. We all had to say one interesting thing about ourselves, and I said, “I am moving to Chicago so that my husband can go to business school….and when we get there, I’m getting a puppy!” Needless to say, my fact was, by far, the most interesting of all the facts we heard that night ;). People still come up to me today and say, “So, did you ever get that puppy?” Well, yes….we did get that puppy. And he’s been taking over our lives ever since.

In retrospect, perhaps we were dealing with enough life changes in September without adding a BABY to the mix. Perhaps moving, looking for a job, leaving our friends and family, and getting used to having a student in the family was stressful enough without bringing an entirely dependent being into our lives. Perhaps...(I can just see my mother rolling her eyes and saying, “I told you so!”)

It’s definitely been a struggle – much more difficult than I ever could have imagined. Everyone said, “Oh, it’s like having a baby! Are you sure you want to do this?” And I said, “God, it’s not like we’re the first people to get a dog! People have dogs, you know!” Well, that is certainly true….but we weren’t quite prepared for what bringing Henry home really meant:

1) Up every 2-3 hours (the 3^rd floor seems like the 20^th floor at 2am….)

2) Following him around EVERYWHERE while he’s loose in the apartment

3) Crazy barking the ENTIRE time we leave him alone in his crate (it’s a wonder we weren’t kicked out of our building)

4) Puking every time we go in the car. Even for 5 minutes.

5) Not being able to leave our apartment for more than 4 hours at a time (what parties? Chicago has a downtown?)

The beginning was rough. Thankfully, he’s come a long way, and a lot of these charming behaviors are no longer. He’s 95% housetrained, can be alone for up to 5.5 hours, sleeps through the night, and no longer barfs at the sight of the car :).

And did I mention he is ADORABLE? Even when I haven’t slept all night for a week or when he’s taken my socks hostage and won’t give them back, he can just cock his head and look at me with those puppy dog (literally) eyes, and I remember he’s my baby and I love him no matter what.

I guess I am a Mommy.

Ssshhhhh.....he's in!!!

2010-01-28T12:29:00.004-06:00

Thank God, the worst is over. Cam got an offer for a summer internship yesterday – one he might actually end up taking! He interviewed with JP Morgan on Tuesday morning and felt, unsurprisingly, “okay” about the interview (this was the “he was old” situation). Well, he felt much better Wednesday afternoon when they called and offered him the position! They aren’t even requiring a second round of interviews, which is pretty unusual :). He also got a call about a second round interview with BNY Mellon, so yesterday was a good day!

In some ways, though, I hesitate to celebrate too much. It is great for us and for Cam that he will not be unemployed this summer, especially since the economy is still a bit slow. He’s excited about both of these companies, and I’m glad that he’ll be doing something other than PE for the summer (incidentally, he also interviewed with a PE firm for a class next term called “PE Lab.” He thought that went really well, so, hopefully, he’ll still have his foot in the PE door if this other plan doesn’t work out.). However, while he has heard, there are so many people here who haven’t…

Just last week, I was complaining with a friend of mine about another partner whose Facebook status was something like, “Congrats (boyfriends’ name)! Time to celebrate!” No other info, just pure gloating – clearly about a summer internship. Very annoying when you’re biting your nails wondering if your husband is going to be THE one who doesn’t get an offer. So what do I write as my Facebook status yesterday? “yay!!! Cam is officially not jobless this summer!!! :) :) :)” (Yes, THREE smiley faces!!) Almost immediately, I wanted to take it down. Too bad people are SO fast with their comments and started replying right away!

This time is stressful enough without having other people’s good fortune constantly being rubbed in your face. All of my friends here are waiting to hear about their husband’s/boyfriend’s interviews – a situation I was JUST in less than 24 hours ago. It’s that same feeling you might have had when applying to college…you hate to say “Yay!! I got in to (blank)” to someone without knowing if they just got their final rejection letter.

For now, I think I’ll just be quietly relieved…I know that, soon, everyone will be ready to celebrate, and then we can really get loud ;).

God Grant Me the Strength....

2010-01-26T15:10:00.001-06:00

I basically screamed at my husband this morning for not using a tissue. I don’t know….maybe it was the fact that our puppy woke up at 3am ready to go, or that Roddick had a disappointing loss last night, or that the bathtub drain I had JUST unclogged seemed to be worse than before, but his sniffling in my space was just about the last straw. “Use a tissue!!!!”

Did I mention he was up early because he had two interviews this morning? Whoops.

I know, I know – not very supportive, right? Well, let me tell you, it is freaking exhausting to be supportive 24/7. Exhausting. Especially when half the time, I feel as though he has reverted back to his 15 year old self. Except that now he’s treating me like his mom, not his girlfriend (yes, we’ve been together a loooong time).

Me: “How was your interview today??”

Cam: “It was okay.”

I raise my eyebrows in that “aaaand” kind of way.

Cam: “I think it was fine.” Shoulder shrug.

Ooooh, the interview you’ve been stressing about for 2 weeks is over, and all you can say is that it was “okay?” It took everything in me not to reach across the table and smack him! Just like with applying to business school, all of this is stressful to ME, too! Except that I’m not IN the interview; I have to wait and wait and wait to hear what HE has to tell me about it. So I wait and wait and stress and stress, and all I get is an “okay” or “he was old.” “He was old?!” Ugh. As I said, it’s exhausting to be supportive. Especially when half the time, I feel like I’m the one who needs all the support!

At any rate, interviews are done for now, so now we just have to wait. He had two more today (one for a class next term, not an internship), and they went well, as far as I can gather. As far as waiting goes? According to Cam, “it’s okay.”

Welcome to Mommy's Group!

2010-01-25T11:19:00.004-06:00

No, you didn’t miss anything; I do not have any children. Sometimes, though, it feels as though I would fit in better with the Partner’s Group here if I did! The group is supposed to be a support system for all the partners who have traveled to Chicago to be with their students for 2 (sometimes 3) years while they’re in school. However, it feels more like a group for moms and people who don’t work (a lot of international partners are unable to get work visas here) than a group for male partners or working girls!

This issue is something that has really been bothering me and a lot of the other women I’ve become friends with here. So, we are planning a (hopefully) not-so-hostile takeover. The chair positions are being given out this week, and we are staging a coup! Now, I am not saying that I don’t like children; I LOVE kids. They’re great! And I definitely feel as though the international contingent needs a lot of support when making such a major life change. But there is a big group of partners here who do not have children and have to go to work every day to support our new single income lives. Having events start at 5:15pm on a Friday (I get out of work at 5pm and can’t get anywhere until at least 6pm!) or called “Make your own Sundae” either just don’t work or don’t appeal to the working/no kids set. (The latest Evite for Partner Group? “Not Your Grandmother’s Meatloaf.” Yes. They want us to all go to someone’s apartment and make meatloaf. Seriously??)

Now, despite all the negativity, the Partner Group has been useful for me. I joined over the summer, and while all the students were at some 3 day orientation in Wisconsin, the group set up a lot of events to keep us busy and introduce us to the city – and to each other! Because of those first few events (some of the only ones I’ve been to, I have to say), I’ve made so many great friends here. We basically created our own partner group of non-mommy working women. Just yesterday, we all went to brunch downtown, and I’m planning a super bowl party for the girls and our partners ;).

So, wish us luck in our takeover bid!! I’m going for Wine Club co-chair ;). One thing these non-mommies like to do? Drink :).

Update: Cam’s interviews last week went well…well, one did, at least. He should be hearing about both very soon. Two more this week! Fingers crossed!!!

It's only the rest of your life.....

2010-01-21T12:17:00.003-06:00

I’m skipping way ahead, but it’s necessary :). My husband has an interview for a summer internship today – probably RIGHT now!! It’s his second interview of 5, which I guess, isn’t that many for the average b-school student? It seems like lot to me (considering every available position gets at least 100 applications), but what do I know ;).

Anyway, as I said, he already had an interview 2 weeks ago and was actually offered the job. Without even having interviewed for the 4 other positions, however, he didn’t feel comfortable accepting the offer. He asked for more time to decide, they said no, and he declined. Risky? Um, absolutely. As many of you might know, getting an internship these last few years has become tougher and tougher, and getting an offer from a private equity firm has been almost impossible!! But, he’s not sure if he even wants to do PE post-grad, so he is hoping one of these other interviews pans out. At least he knows the guy who was offered his spot, and he was VERY excited.

I was all for him declining the offer, even though it was in Chicago, and now it is almost guaranteed that we will have to spend the summer apart. One thing that has really irritated me about business school so far is that you start recruiting in about October. You’ve been here for a month, and then they want you to decide what you want to do for the summer and basically for the rest of your life! A lot of these internships lead to full-time offers, so you’re essentially picking your career a month after you get to school. Cam - unlike most people, I guess – wasn’t sure what he wanted to do when he left school. He liked PE, but he was also interested in checking out private wealth management. Well, what if he takes an internship in private wealth management and doesn’t like it? Has he shut the door on PE forever? What if he takes a PE internship and then decides he’s really done with PE? Is he stuck with that career?

I thought going to school was supposed to help you decide what you wanted to be when you graduated, but they seem to expect that you'll know this when you walk through the gates in September. I find it very annoying! And it’s stressful for both of us!

Anyway, good luck, husband!!! I’m sure you’ll be great today, and you’ll have lots of options for the summer….and for your life forever after.

Home Sweet Home

2010-01-20T10:02:00.001-06:00

So that’s the very short version of my husband’s application process and acceptance. In reality, it seemed to drag on for an eternity. However, if you’re going through this whole hellish process now, for better or for worse, it will end. The day will soon come when you have your LIFE back! If only for a little while….;).

The months after Cam was accepted were actually some of the best we had in Boston. It was sad knowing we were going to leave, but we really stepped it up and tried to have a good time while we were there. Plus, how can it not be fun to decide on your last day of work (!!) and schedule your big pre-business school vacation (a MUST, by the way, and Yellowstone/Grand Tetons for us)? Of course, it was stressful, as well. I had to start looking for a new job, and we had to find an apartment.

The business of where to live is a major issue when you’re about to attend business school, but Booth has its own set of challenges. Unlike most schools that either have a campus downtown or are just in a smaller town, Booth is about 15 minutes from downtown Chicago. People tend to live all over, but most live in the Loop. Because we had lived in downtown Boston for 5 years, we really felt that we needed to visit and see the areas for ourselves. While we were definitely open to living outside the city center, we were also nervous about a possible move to the ‘burbs.

Now, our 475 square foot apartment in Boston cost a small fortune, but Cam was working while we lived there! Now that we were going to be living on my English major salary (which, incidentally, was ZERO until I actually found a job), we wanted to greatly reduce the amount we were going to pay in rent. That basically meant Hyde Park, Lincoln Park or maybe South Loop. We decided on a price point, researched, looked for places that accepted pets (I was dying for a puppy – more on that later), checked out parking options, and visited. Ultimately, the place that fit the bill for us was Hyde Park. With its Allston/Brighton feel and close proximity to the city, it just made sense for us.

Business school, here we come!

It takes two

2010-01-18T09:50:00.002-06:00

So we were in. Yes, we. I haven’t mentioned this yet, but this whole decision to go to business school was not one just made by my husband. It was, most definitely, a collaborative effort. In fact, for quite some time, he didn’t want to go at all! He made a lot of money at his private equity job, we lived in a great city near our families, we went on vacation quite a bit, we saved – excessively, in my opinion – for retirement, and we still managed to eat out and buy basically whatever we needed (or in my case, wanted). Giving all of that up to pay $80K a year for school was not high on Cam’s list of fun things to do.

However, I knew that in order to move ahead in his career and keep up with his peers (yes, that is important), he had to go. I also knew that we weren’t getting any younger and in three or five years down the road, I might not be so open to picking up and moving out of the state. I began pushing him to get going with his applications. But we first had to decide where to apply to. Where were we comfortable moving? What schools made sense? We had visited Stanford on our way to Australia in 2006, but I just didn’t think I could go that far (I am, I admit, overly attached to my family). According to Cam, everyone had to at least apply to Harvard. Fine – one down. I suggested we go somewhere warmer, such as UVA, but that was shot down as not “elite” enough. Based on his career interests, we finally decided Wharton and Booth were the final two. Chicago was about as far as I think I could handle. My sister had attended UChicago undergrad, so I was somewhat familiar with the city and enjoyed it. Hotdogs as a major food group? I’m in.

I only mention this whole decision making process because deciding to attend school for two years – possibly in a new and distant city/town - is a major commitment. Sure, this was Cam’s career, but it was our life. Since I’ve been here, I’ve been surprised more than once by wives or girlfriends who were seemingly dragged here – uprooted from careers they loved and homes they were attached to – just because their husbands (or boyfriends?! I will get to THIS later) decided to go to graduate school. This was a difficult adjustment for me, but at least I felt as though I was part of the decision and had I said “No, we just can’t go there,” I don’t think we would have come.

But, I didn’t say that, and here we are.

Waiting....sucks

2010-01-15T09:41:00.000-06:00

I would just like to say that being the wife of a business school applicant isn’t easy. I imagine it’s somewhat akin to being the mother of a college applicant. Every rejection hurts you as much as it hurts them. Every hour he has to wait is as painful for you as it is for him. Every person who gets in when he doesn’t or hasn’t heard yet….you want to punch in the face! Wait…is that how mothers feel?

The first rejection wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t really expecting to get in, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go there, anyway. He got put on the waiting list at the second school, and that was worse. I think he would have gone there had he gotten in, so that one hurt a bit. The day finally came when our last hope was going to either be realized or dashed. It was a rough day.

One of the guys Cam worked with was also applying to business school, and had, of course, applied to all the same places he applied to. Awesome. He also didn’t get into the first schools, though, so we weren’t yet feeling too bad about the competition. However, the day came that the offers were going to be released for our last hope school, and Cam’s friend, Bill, got the call at work early that morning(9:30am): he was IN. We followed “the forum.” People were getting the calls left and right all day. My stomach hurt, my eyes were blurry, I started practicing my, “Well, you didn’t really want to go, anyway!” speech. 11:30am….1:30pm…..3:00pm….nothing, nothing, and NOTHING. My sister emailed me, “Well?? Anything?” My mom wrote, “I’m feeling sick. I think I’ll die if he doesn’t get in.” My co-workers, who were already bitter that we were leaving Boston because of stupid business school asked, “Has he heard yet? Anything new?” “The forum” always said people were called randomly all throughout business hours…which meant until 6pm, as the school was on Central Time. 4:30pm….4:45pm….Cam calls me. He was IN. With a huge fellowship to boot. Thank God.

IN.

THE Forum

2010-01-14T09:36:00.001-06:00

We returned from our honeymoon, got through the holidays, and prepared to wait. My husband, Cameron, in the months leading up to the decision to apply and ever after, was addicted to the Business Week Business School forum. I mean, addicted. In our small Boston apartment, there was no hiding what you were doing on the computer. I would casually walk over to the couch to watch TV and see him quickly minimize the screen to hide his stalking. Of course, I knew he was either on “the forum” or on Bogleheads.com – another of his horrifying internet obsessions. I would roll my eyes and ask what was new in the world of hopeful business school applicants.

“Well, the people applying Round 3 are starting to find out if they got interviews. I don’t know why people bother applying to Round 3, but I guess some people got lucky. The Round 1 people are telling everyone where they did and did not get in. It looks like it’s been a tough year and a bad day. Most people are saying that if you get into Harvard, you should just go, even though the case method way of learning isn’t best for everyone….”

This is how it went. For months. Most of the time, he wouldn’t tell me what was happening on “the forum,” but I have to confess, I started getting addicted to it myself. It was strangely elating to find out the “perfect” candidate didn’t get in anywhere (a free spot for my husband!) and often frustrating to read people’s excuses for not applying to the best schools (just get over it, Mr., you’re not qualified and we all know it). It was also terrifying to read of the candidates who could have been my husband’s paper twins not get into the very schools Cam was applying to. However, the craziest and most stressful times of all on “the forum” were the days people got “the calls.” The schools let you know a week or so in advance which days they would be releasing their offers, but a day has 24 hours in it. Starting at 8am, people in India or China or Mississippi would start posting that they had just received “the call.” This was an alert to all applicants: the calls were happening, and if you don’t get one, be prepared for “the email.”

I thought to myself, “THREE rounds of this?? THREE schools? How will we ever make it?”

School #1: The email. Boston = out.

School #2: The email. Close-ish to Boston = out.

School #3: Ah, school #3. How you tried to slowly and painfully kill us both.

My husband is Male

2010-01-13T10:40:00.003-06:00

I left my job on Friday and we were in the U-Haul Saturday morning. I looked in the (huge!) rear view mirror at my (tiny!) apartment fading into the distance and felt a little sad that we were leaving. This was a major adventure and change for us, and I WAS excited, but leaving everything you know is always going to be scary and a bit sad. I reminded myself that this was going to be great and got ready for the bumpy ride ahead.

We had been planning (at least hoping for) this move for about a year, so I had had time to think about it and get used to the idea of leaving. Around the time of our wedding in October of 2008, my husband finished up his applications to three of the best business schools around: one in Boston, one not too far away, and one in the Midwest. While I was stressing about centerpieces and hair styles, he was trying to make his consultant/private equity background sound as interesting and as noble as “saving villages in Africa” and “being a woman.” I edited and suggested…glossing over the fact that all the work I had done for a start-up charity organization was suddenly the work of my ever benevolent husband and that his “difficulties” at work consisted of figuring out what to do when a girl he worked with started crying. We would do or say or “spin” whatever we had to in order to GET IN. That was always the goal: GET IN. Once that happened, we knew we were scot free.

My husband -- not that I’m biased -- is a genius. He was Phi Beta Kappa at an Ivy League, scored an 800 on his Math SATs (and a 750 on the Verbal, by the way), read Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and, basically, understood it. He’d worked at a major consulting firm for three years right out of college and then had moved to a smaller private equity firm for two more. He speaks French, understands Art, reads “The Economist” every week (for fun!), is an amazing skier and tennis player, and loves to travel. I mention all of this because in my mind, how could he NOT get in? Well, let me tell you the other side of my husband's story: he’s white, from the northeast, worked in consulting and private equity, and….is a boy. Yes, my husband is male. This, along with the other aforementioned facts, meant that NOT getting in was a major possibility.

We crossed our fingers and went on our honeymoon.